Wednesday, September 13, 2017

The Final Countdown

Hey everyone,
I hate to say it, but microblogging platforms...facebook and instagram have taken over. It's downright weird to read this blog after not touching it all for a year and a half.

Suffice it to say, a lot happened. Columbia attempted to financially expel me. I feel no remorse calling it that. I can't pay right now and my credit is trashed from the recession, it's been a problem since I got here, everyone in the admin knew about it. I was far from the only person going into debt directly to the school because private loans weren't an option. A lot of us left. Few of us found a way.

Mine included taking an unpaid internship that transitioned to a theatre management position at an off-Broadway venue in Hell's Kitchen. I love my job, I'm good at my job, and the money is good. Working this job allowed me to set up a six month deal for $4000 in payments to the school in exchange for being able to register for my final two semesters. I was within a week of being evicted from housing because of my situation and I'm going to keep fighting on behalf of my fellow student's because the current system is set up to let the less financially able, but just as talented - get in, accrue debt many times directly owning the school not private lenders,only to be told by the bursar that it's for our own good if we aren't allowed to finish/are forced to leave with a mountain of debt and with out completing our requirements.

TL:DR I got a job, earned money, ransomed my registration rights, and now - after 11 years, I'm completing my bachelor's requirements at the end of December. (I will not be allowed my diploma until the money owed school directly is paid in full, so I should see it so.metime around 2027.) The Course reqs are updated and....we're almost home free.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Final Update

This is going to be the final update for a while. Here are my grades from the past two semesters.

Fall 2015
SHAKESPEARE I             B-

Spring 2015
ACTING THE SONG            C


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Feeling Like a Tourist

"First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person. Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress." - Marilyn Monroe

I studied theatre and earned my associates in it three years ago. I have worked with theatre companies big and small, never in a performance role though. I continue to study at one of the most prestigious universities in the world, and was awarded a solo-performance thesis. And yet...I feel like a tourist in my own industry. Why?

Body image and self-esteem have admittedly more to do with it than I like. Only recently have plus-size role models like Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy come forward to usher in an era of being big and talented and ok with yourself, in the US. Somehow these women have figured out how to value themselves enough, to have enough confidence internally that they consider their work valuable to others. This leaves me about 20% envious and  80% curious. I want to investigate,I want to know how that happened, because while I cannot speak for all plus or curvy women, I know that many of us already consider ourselves to be a sort of other at base.

That's a harsh realization, but an honest one. One, that needs to be acknowledged before any sort of self-reparation can begin. And, not just with women, but men too - people, in the western world have so largely gotten caught up in the lives of "The Digital Jones'," that our own successes start to pail in comparison. So how do we get back?

I Am Not An Other

Saying these words are effortless. Especially for anyone with acting in their background. Just conjure up a vision of the most confident person you can think of an lie to yourself a little.  Actually believing this, is another matter all together.  Confidence despite flaws, including weight,  is so foreign an idea that it is used as comic fodder or applauded because of it's rarity.  An exoticness is tacked on to someone who deviates from the norm with detached and convinced bliss, and thus owning that you are not supposed to act a certain way because of how you look makes you rare, and in that rarity lies a power to control your options more. 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Fall Grades and Redux

FALL 2014
B+   Global Urbanism - Global Core Req - 3 Credits
B     History and Practice of Producing - Major Req - 4 credits
C     History and Practice of Directing - Major Req - 3 credits
B-   Art Hum - Art Hum Req - 3 Credits

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Moon is Big in the White Harlem Sky

They refer to us as apathetic....the worst generation. In reality, we are disillusioned - as disillusioned as they once were, but with the ability to fight ripped from our hands.

I didn't forget, I'm not ignorant of what this all means, I'm just not happy with any of the players in the bloodsport they refer to as American Politics.  What a fucking art form. The highest and most respected one in the land, certainly the best funded.

You want to send a message, create? Fine crawl through the mud, become a professional beggar for favor. Shakespeare did it. Bernini too...although he made sure to not let anyone remember his dissidence by writing anything down, lest the wrong patron be pissed off.

I can't revolt.

I can't fight.

Doing so would make me wrong and cheat me out of my own progress. You too.

Someone will be along to pick up the tab, shortly.

So we wait. We wait for the change the fear mongers and political spelunkers assure us is coming. Wait for relevance. Too much like the string quartet on a sinking ship, even the rats have abandoned.

We've lost. We've lost and worse, we aren't even sure what game we are playing.

Reverberation is nauseating.

I can't revolt.

I can't fight.

It would make me one of 'those people.'

Revolution is a precious commodity now.  How much for that Che Guevara shirt, those ripped jeans?

800,000,000 easy payments of $56, 000 should do the trick. Maybe.

Shut up you stupid cog. Here have a grant, a scholarship, a free gift with purchase, 10% off your next purchase of $17 trillion or more.  Yours now if you get the most retweets, the most clicks.