Without Youuuuuuuuu I feeeellll INNNCOMPLEEETEE!

I hit the skids once again at the end of this semester. The straight dope: I crashed and nearly burned when I overworked myself. Thinking I'd be leaving in the middle of winter, I took on a nearly full time schedule at work to save as much money as possible for a move (in the city or elsewhere).  Nearing finals, I was weeks behind on work and exhausted and nowhere the mindset need for finishing strong, arranging a move in the city in the middle of winter, and . That's when my advisor suggested I stay until May, and revealed that you don't have to be registered full time in your final semester to keep housing.

And so, after semesters of emotional hell, I did the unthinkable.

I delayed graduation and I'm staying....by choice until the end of May.

Something like a 3-oh...

Ahoy from Florida...it's a chipper 40 something.  I'm reading some Garrison Keillor fiction, and still utterly tired. I'm of a good mind to take the semester off to watch the spring come in on the beach.

That's no good though...

Forgive, I'm running a fever at the moment so my malaise is both dazing and exasperating.

Anyway, my last grade came in today (finally), and it's higher than I hoped.  The professor and I jerked each other around enough, I was just happy to be done with it.

Ballet and English Conference were both passes (P's), and as such don't count towards the GPA... :\
Western Theatre Traditions was a solid B
Advanced Acting Lab was a solid B
Arabia Imagined a B-

So, a 2.8680 ...call it a 2.9?  Which is something very close to a 3.0...right? Right?

Stats are updated, so is what's on deck.

Things really fell apart this semester...I fell apart this semester, and rallied but the damage may be done.

Waiting...waiting...waiting...and with a surprising lack of change...more waiting...

So we got our Western Theatre papers back this morning...
Finally some hint at academic validation, my first real paper grade at Columbia...

W.B. handed it to me...lot's of comments...oo... Why did I leave that in?  I don't remember leaving that in. Not anachronistic, achronistic... ACHRONISTIC! damn auto correct. *le sigh* "Good Connection, but... *le sigh some more*  The TA is commenting a lot, W.B. isn't...why isn't he commenting? I...ugh...how is a Marx reference not obvious enough? How is the Locke reference not obvious enough? Everybody knows those theories. "Don't assume your reader knows anything."  But assume we do, eh? Ha. That wasn't that funny. Well...nah not that funny. Your citations are funny. Funny bad, not funny haha. Are citations ever funny haha?  Get to last page.

No grade.

Flip over. No grade. Class and Prof. long gone...
What's going on?
Where's my grade?

I...

Uh....what?


Dear God...
I was really tired. It was finished during an all-nighter, and every other sundry excuse ever used, by everyone, ever.

Was it that horrible? No, no-no. I mean he's not above just putting an F on a paper, right? Christ. Does he want me to rewrite? I'd love a rewrite.

*le sigh*

Emailed prof + TA. Waiting...patiently.

Oh, hey...look at that. This is my 100th post.

*updated* Gender is changeable, Sex is not...well how about that?

So tired...
How is this only week 4? I'm suppose to hit my stride around this time right?

Ok, work list for my own sanity:

1. 9/24 - Be off book for: August: Osage County Scene
2. 9/28 - ReRead/Annotate/Transcribe Notes: Judith Butler, Performative Acts and Gender Constitution, ¶'s 11-24
   (5 pgs)
3. 9/28 - ReRead/Annotate/Transcribe Notes: Aristophanes' Lysistrata
   (7 pages)
4. 9/28 - Read/Annotate: Text: al-Misri, (d. 1367) “Pilgrimage” (sharīʿa law book chapter)  Trans. N. Keller, 1994. Reliance of the Traveler, 297-370.
   (73 pgs)
5. 9/28 - Read/Annotate: Malcolm X (with Alex Hayley), The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Ch. 17
   (9 pgs)
6. 9/28 - Read/Annotate: Hammoudi, Abdellah. 2006. “Narrative of a pilgrimage.” Trans. P. Ghazaleh. A Season in Mecca. Chs. 5 & 6, pp. 94-141.
   (47 pgs)
7. Due 9/29, 10:00 PM - Write: 2 page Double Space Response with annotations on the above three reading assignments
8. Due 9/30 10:00 AM - Write: WESTERN THEATRE PAPER - 5-6 PAGES "Create a dialogue between Judith Butler's treatise on Performative Acts and Gender Constitution and Aristophanes' Lysistrata"
9. 9/30 - Read/Annotate: The Tale of Sir Launcelot and Guinevere, pp. 403-467
   (64 pgs)
10. 9/30 - Read/Annotate: The Death of Arthur, pp. 468-527
    (59 pgs)
11. 9/30 - Read/Annotate: Explanatory Notes, pp. 556-565
    (9 pgs)
12. 10/1 - Read/Annotate: Foley, "Medea's Divided Self"
    (24 pgs)
13. 10/1 - Read/Annotate: Case, "Classic Drag"
    (5 pages)
14. 10/2 - Read/Annotate: Testament of Cresseid, pp. 2-47
    (45 pgs)

Ok, maybe not so much sanity...but mental organization.
That's 141 pages to read/annotate by next Tommorow night folks...
Right.

Important/get done asap!

Not completed/due date passed

Completed/Done

http://www.gofundme.com/48ovzo

What a beautiful Sund....

Writing my theatre paper.

Ermergherd Blergh!

Coming to terms with going back to work.
I'm having a bit of a hard time being OK with the fact that, after 6 years of sleep deprivation, ungodly commutes, and the hardest academic challenges I've faced in my life up to this point, I'm not moving on right now. I'm stuck, in fact, to maximize my savings during my deferment, I'm most likely headed back to the same temp jobs I had before I decided to go to college. That my friends is depressing, especially when status updates and tweets tell me how excited everyone is to be moving on. I mean to say I don't begrudge anyone that, goodness no, but I feel like I'm the little kid next door in one of those after school specials, somberly looking on as my best friend drives away to their new home.

Actually, that is sort of literally what is happening in at least one respect.  I am losing probably my closest friend. In a little more than a week and I'm doing what I always do when I'm about to lose someone important. The conversations become shorter, fluffier...the friendship, through distancing, wanes and when she leaves its not all that hard. I have a good idea  she'll read this, but I don't think she's ever seen me in my systematic withdrawal.  Fuck. This stops now. I'm gonna see if she wants to do Korean one last time before she leaves.  Damn I will miss her.

I have my list (which I've ignored since graduation, to be honest) and I'm trying to stay focused on getting things done on that list, and possibly expanding it. A huge miss-communication about deposits on the part of the apartments we were supposed to be moving into, has left my roommate and I shafted on $125 and staying with family for the next month.  The bright side to this is that I think it will give me time to get some more work done on the memoir/biography I've been working on with my grandmother.  There's also been talk of traveling with her up to PA to see my brother this month. That's would be an immensely welcome change of scenery, to be honest.

• Volunteering for the Obama Campaign/Elections
• Get a job/Save money
• Develop lifestyle change that involves regular workouts
• Finish getting source material (interview/documentation), start first draft of Sands...
• Do some acting work
• Read a few good books and document them starting with:
   and 

Having a plan...or at least a general idea.
About the immediate future. I'm really not sure what to do, no option is glaringly better than the others. 
Things to keep in mind:

• The Beineke Scholarship
• Critical Language Scholarship
• Christianson Work Abroad Grant 
• Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange for Young Professionals
• DAAD - Undergrad Scholarship
• National Geographic Glimpse Correspondents Program 

 

Well...crap.

There goes 30k out the window.  Not to be crass but, shit.

Work list Update 1... ♫Let's / get down / to busi / ness...♫

    Made it through the week.  That's a good thing. People on the CC boards who have called in are saying they've called the C:GS office and have been told that depending on when everything was submitted, applicant's may get acceptance notices through May 1st. I don't know if I can survive that sort of anxiety. Especially, since NYU and Barnard my be out of the picture because of lack of application money and the inability to navigate the non-trad independent unfriendly CSS Financial Aid Profile to gain a waiver.

    The stagecraft quiz was a bomb, there just wasn't enough time to study as well as I want to. grr... It'll prob be a low B or High C *ugh* I left class and campus crying, utterly disgusted that I know I can do better. The speech went well, supposedly I went over...I don't even want to guess how much, I didn't bother to ask this time.  All semester, my speeches have run long.  There is a competition on environmental speeches that prof is offering 10pt extra credit for participating in. *looks meekly at Gulf Hypoxia speech from last semester* hmmm...

    I also didn't get my entry in for the pinnacle scholarship for PTK.  *sigh* It sucks, and there really is just no other word for it, that I qualify for things like these "honor societies" and because I can't pay exorbitant membership fees I don't get the honor.  I'd be willing to bet I'm not the only one. Same thing is sort of happening with NSCS.  On one side, I suppose you could argue that it's all redundant accolades, who cares it's too late to really participate in anything with either org.  My answer to that is, well I've qualified for both for numerous semesters and every semester the price of the accolade my hard work has earned, seems to go up.

List with due dates, Blue=Big Deal, Green=Done, Strike=Didn't get done:

1. 4/3/12 - Reasons to be Pretty?
   5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
2. 4/3/12 - Public Speaking Field Trip
   Lara Logan talk at USF
3. 4/4/12 - Stagecraft Quiz 4
   Covers: Lighting design paper work, Scene shop hand tools, Scene shop hand and portable power, tools, Scene shop stationary power tools, Scenic materials, Fasteners and adhesives
4. 4/4/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
   5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
5. 4/5/12 - Public Speaking Major Speech 2
   Persuasive speech
   6 min; Speech portfolio: Purpose/thesis development, audience Connections, Works cited, Formal outline, Note cards
6. 4/5/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
   5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
7. 4/5/12 - PTK Pinnacle Scholarship Essay
   2 winners receive PTK Membership fee paid in full
   500 words
8. 4/6/12 - Straz Center Phone Interview
   7PM, for PT House Management position :)
   
   
9. 4/9/12 - Connections Essay 1
   A)Choose a decade in American history and view any film, which, in your view, epitomizes or represents that decade.  In essay form, answer some or all of the following questions. How does this film define the decade? (Consider all aspects of “mise-en-scene” if you wish.)  OR B)View a film that addresses a historical event in America. Briefly research that event and compare and contrast the historical facts with the film’s interpretation. 
   2-3 pages, 12pt double-spaced
10. 4/9/12 - Connections Essay 2
    Self-reflection - Think about all your general education courses. Discuss how one in particular has prepared you for subsequent academic courses and/or for your future career. Identify specific knowledge, skills, and abilities you gained, which will insure your future success.
    1-2 pages max, 12pt , double-spaced
11.  4/9/12 - Connections Movie 
    Produce a 1-3 minute film - Produce a documentary or mock-umentary (think Best in Show or Spinal Tap) addressing any aspect of life today. This may be done simply on a camera phone or may be done using a camcorder and editing software if you are so inclined. It is certainly OK to improvise with your phone. In the end, it should “say something.” Think about what you wish to shine a light on.  It may be a serious topic or be a humorous slant on some aspect of pop culture.  Have fun with this, but spend some time on it.  It is easy to spot the haphazard attempts.
    3 min. running time max.
12. 4/10/12 - Irish History Paper 2
    Custom topic: Comparing and Contrasting the Famine Era Irish Traveling Accounts of Alexis de Tocqueville and Gustave de Beaumont from Peter Gray's The Irish Famine
    5-7 pages (10 max, excluding works cited), 12pt, double-spaced
13. 4/10/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
14. 4/11/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
15. 4/12/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Run rehearsal in Directors Absence
16. 4/13/12 - Student Excellence Awards7pm, Formal Dinner and Awards Presentation from Campus President
    
    
    
17. 4/17/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Rehearsal Assistance
18. 4/18/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Rehearsal Assistance
19. 4/19 or 24th or 26th/12  - Public Speaking Group Symposium Presentation
    9 min part in 45 min speech
20. 4/19/12 - Reasons to be Pretty
    5-8 Rehearsal Assistance
21. 4/20/12 - District Student Activities Funding Meeting
    9AM, Ybor, District wants to cut all Extracurricular Performing/Visual Arts funding from Ybor Campus
22. 4/21/12 - RTBP Load-in
    
    
23. 4/22/12 - RTBP Lighting/Focusing
24. 4/24/12 - RTBP Tech Rehearsal
25. 4/25/12  RTBP Tech Rehearsal
    
26. 4/26/12 - Irish History Final
    Take home final due
    3, 2-page responses to given topics, 12pt double-spaced
27. 4/26/12 - RTBP Final Dress Rehearsal
28. 4/27/12 - RTBP  Performance6:30 Crew Call
    
29. 4/28/12 - RTBP  Performance6:30 Crew Call
    
    
30. 4/29/12 - RTBP Performance/Strike1:30 Crew Call 
31. 4/30/12 - Stagecraft Quiz 5
    Covers: Curtains and stage drapes, two-dimensional scenery, flat construction, Hardware/joints/knots, Dimensional scenery: platforms and wagons, Scenery: Windows and doors, Scenery: Stairs
32. 4/30/12  - Mod European History Final
    Take home essay based on info Covering Chaps 19:Empire Modernity and the Road to War-24:The New Globalism
    Assigned or due on the 30th?
33. 5/4/12 - Commencement
    2PM, 1:00 check-in
    
    
34. 5/7/12 - Stagecraft Final
    Semester Cumulative
35. ??/??/?? - Voice and Movement Final
    Memorized Performance final - "Comings and Goings" Excerpts

Not too bad...

  Not as evil as I guessed, the first two Chem quizzes came back with a 10/10 each.  The first Chem test wasn't as brutal as I expected.  33 questions and multiple choice, I wasn't too perplexed.  There was a question that through me about converting Celsius to Kelvin; I could not remember the conversion factor for the life of J.J. Thomson.
  I expect an "A" on it.  Actually, I feel really great about it.
  The labs are also going well.  I love the practical side of it, the mixing and products gained; I love to bake, so that's not that surprising.  There is something infinitely cool about combining two things and getting something new, ask any kid who is face deep in a mixing bowl of reluctant cake batter and they will tell you making stuff from other stuff is great.
  Yeah, real deep, I know. It's freezing in here. *goes to get a hot chai latte*