Saturday, May 12, 2012

Deferment Part II

So, I filled out the paper work and put it in the envelope. I went down tot he ATM and withdrew the tuition deposit from savings. I went to Amscot and got an international money order with the withdrawal and put the whole shebang aside for two days getting used to the fact that I'd be here for another year...

Like the resounding hum of a Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross beat...something nagged at me about this, I came to feel cheated like I had signed my life away, something did not feel kosher.

I talked it out mentally and with others and came to a stark conclusion. I'm afraid of a year. I am terrified at the prospect of another twelve months, of getting settled in to something too permanent. But I can't go now, either.

So after hours of mental agony, weighing pros and cons, stuffing that envelope, and getting as close as I can to mailing my response, I changed my mind. 

I unpacked the letter, daintily scribbled over the "X"on the "Fall 2013" box and remarked its sister, "Spring 2013."

After three weeks, I feel at peace with this decision because I have enough time to sort everything out and make a little money, and get everything done, but it's not enough time to get invested, again. Now where's that temp services number? I've only got seven months...

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