I'm having a bit of a hard time being OK with the fact that, after 6 years of sleep deprivation, ungodly commutes, and the hardest academic challenges I've faced in my life up to this point, I'm not moving on right now. I'm stuck, in fact, to maximize my savings during my deferment, I'm most likely headed back to the same temp jobs I had before I decided to go to college. That my friends is depressing, especially when status updates and tweets tell me how excited everyone is to be moving on. I mean to say I don't begrudge anyone that, goodness no, but I feel like I'm the little kid next door in one of those after school specials, somberly looking on as my best friend drives away to their new home.
Actually, that is sort of literally what is happening in at least one respect. I am losing probably my closest friend. In a little more than a week and I'm doing what I always do when I'm about to lose someone important. The conversations become shorter, fluffier...the friendship, through distancing, wanes and when she leaves its not all that hard. I have a good idea she'll read this, but I don't think she's ever seen me in my systematic withdrawal. Fuck. This stops now. I'm gonna see if she wants to do Korean one last time before she leaves. Damn I will miss her.
I have my list (which I've ignored since graduation, to be honest) and I'm trying to stay focused on getting things done on that list, and possibly expanding it. A huge miss-communication about deposits on the part of the apartments we were supposed to be moving into, has left my roommate and I shafted on $125 and staying with family for the next month. The bright side to this is that I think it will give me time to get some more work done on the memoir/biography I've been working on with my grandmother. There's also been talk of traveling with her up to PA to see my brother this month. That's would be an immensely welcome change of scenery, to be honest.
- Volunteering for the Obama Campaign/Elections
- Get a job/Save money
- Develop lifestyle change that involves regular workouts
- Finish getting source material (interview/documentation), start first draft of Sands...
- Do some acting work
- Read a few good books and document them starting with:
Having a plan...or at least a general idea.
About the immediate future. I'm really not sure what to do, no option is glaringly better than the others.
Things to keep in mind:
- The Beineke Scholarship
- Critical Language Scholarship
- Christianson Work Abroad Grant
- Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange for Young Professionals
- DAAD - Undergrad Scholarship
- National Geographic Glimpse Correspondents Program